The Unmissable Miriam Margoyles

25 June 2012 § 1 Comment

Miriam was a guest on Graham Norton’s BBC show again this week, thank all that is good. The English press seem determined to misunderstand her—she doesn’t conform to their banal stereotypes I suppose—and have made rather feeble attempts at derision by affixing all kinds of negative epithets to her glorious being, but I’m sure none of you will be swayed by their hoary platitudes. Instead, feast your eyes and ears on this clip, the middle 15 minutes of the show (the other two parts are already on youtube and equally delicious, but Andreas advised I shouldn’t overdo it by posting all three—especially as I’ve been so silent this June) and pray that this exquisite being remains in world for a very, very long time. By the way, Will.i.am didn’t do too badly either…

Andreas Does the Shopping

1 June 2012 § Leave a comment

The phone rings. I answer, quite chirpily for 6pm, “Hello darling.”
“Hello, I can’t find the yoghurt.”
“Yes you can, it’s just above the milk.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Are you standing in front of the milk fridge?”
“Yes.”
“What’s on the shelf directly above the milk.”
“Yoghurt, but not the live stuff you want!”
“Yes, it is.”
“It can’t be! What colour should the pot be?”
“Green and white.”
“Well, there is one that’s green and white, but it’s that Ander… what’s-it stuff we always have.”
“Yes, that’s it.”
“But it’s 1.8% fat… you hate low fat…”
“Usually, yes, but this is the only active yoghurt you can get at Karstadt, so beggars can’t be choosers…”
“But it’s not active.”
“It has ‘active’ written on the pot.”
“But that doesn’t mean it’s active yoghurt.”
“Yes it does.”
“No it doesn’t.”
“Yes it does.”
“No it…” Andreas pauses, I guess he’s reading the label. “Oh, it’s got L+ in the small print. That means it’s…”
“Active yoghurt….”
“OK! Found it!”
“Let me guess, you were looking at it all along?”

Click… brrrrr… sigh…

Where Am I?

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